Monday, April 16, 2007
and now i have a cold on top of the recovery process...
i'm so done with this injured/sick/tired/hurting/pain gig...i'm just done.. please take it away...
Friday, April 06, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
on connections
It's been a bit of an eventful week for me. Last Thursday night I thought I was dying. I have never experienced so much pain in my life and with my brief medical background started to fear all the possible things that could have been wrong with me. Although I will admit I was relieved when the EMT and the docotors were testing and guessing the same things.
In the end my it was serious but I didn't die. Instead I simply had surgery the next day. Simply? That's a joke. It all happened so fast and frankly it threw me off guard. All the hospital staff running around me and asking if anyone had talked to me yet. I always replied with the same answer - no they haven't. They would shake their heads and continue on their way. But again in the end I was fine. I'm still healing a bit and hope to be all healed by next week. I don't have time for this.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I really came to see who my family and friends truely are. The ones who were most concerned with me. I never need much from my family but they all rose to the occassion - well for the most part. I could sense the worry in my parents even though they don't like to show it. And my sisters were more supportive than I ever imagined. And when I came home to my own appartment in the city yesterday, I sat down on the couch and wondered what would have happened if I didn't come from a big family. And if I didn't have such good friends calling to check in. They were all so generous.
Truth be told I do feel lucky in many ways. Lucky it wasn't the heart attack they orignally treated me for. Lucky I have good insurance with this job I took up in the fall. Lucky I have such good family and friends that I don't really have to worry. I have a great support system.
It all sounds corny and maybe its the craqzy amount of pain meds I'm on - but I just feel very lucky.
But I am aching to go back to work and school. I feel so behind, so lost without it all, The lack of human interaction, driving my car, all of it feels like its missing. Soon. I'll have it all back soon.
When the new year started I decided I was going to truely make all the connections in my life count. Everyone. Especially in my line of work I come in contact with so many people, wonderful people form all over. Because I learned a powerful lesson this fall with all the crazy changes in my life...each perosn you come in contact with impacts your life. Even if they don't stay. So I wanted to make myself centered and truely connected to each person I come in contact with. From casual meetings on the streets or in shops to dating and relationships to family and longtime friends. And since being a bit bedridden the last few days, I have really come to miss that connection making. But I also suppose I stregthened many of my closet connections through this whole ordeal. Connections. Life is all about connections.
Again maybe its all the meds but really I think its just me.Me growing and learning and connecting.
In the end my it was serious but I didn't die. Instead I simply had surgery the next day. Simply? That's a joke. It all happened so fast and frankly it threw me off guard. All the hospital staff running around me and asking if anyone had talked to me yet. I always replied with the same answer - no they haven't. They would shake their heads and continue on their way. But again in the end I was fine. I'm still healing a bit and hope to be all healed by next week. I don't have time for this.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I really came to see who my family and friends truely are. The ones who were most concerned with me. I never need much from my family but they all rose to the occassion - well for the most part. I could sense the worry in my parents even though they don't like to show it. And my sisters were more supportive than I ever imagined. And when I came home to my own appartment in the city yesterday, I sat down on the couch and wondered what would have happened if I didn't come from a big family. And if I didn't have such good friends calling to check in. They were all so generous.
Truth be told I do feel lucky in many ways. Lucky it wasn't the heart attack they orignally treated me for. Lucky I have good insurance with this job I took up in the fall. Lucky I have such good family and friends that I don't really have to worry. I have a great support system.
It all sounds corny and maybe its the craqzy amount of pain meds I'm on - but I just feel very lucky.
But I am aching to go back to work and school. I feel so behind, so lost without it all, The lack of human interaction, driving my car, all of it feels like its missing. Soon. I'll have it all back soon.
When the new year started I decided I was going to truely make all the connections in my life count. Everyone. Especially in my line of work I come in contact with so many people, wonderful people form all over. Because I learned a powerful lesson this fall with all the crazy changes in my life...each perosn you come in contact with impacts your life. Even if they don't stay. So I wanted to make myself centered and truely connected to each person I come in contact with. From casual meetings on the streets or in shops to dating and relationships to family and longtime friends. And since being a bit bedridden the last few days, I have really come to miss that connection making. But I also suppose I stregthened many of my closet connections through this whole ordeal. Connections. Life is all about connections.
Again maybe its all the meds but really I think its just me.Me growing and learning and connecting.
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