a reason

One of my bestest and dearest friends is also my ex. This seems to be questioned often. I find it hard to believe that I am the only one who is friends with one of her ex's. Am I? I can't fully explain our friendship but I feel it's true. I feel it's one of those connections that we both have shared and been through so much (independently and together) that we understand each other.

But recently in this insane life of mine, it was questioned as to whether I still liked her. It seemed no matter how much I said no, she still believed it, I feel to the core. ANd when it was questioned about if I was plannign on going back to her after the break up, I was so damn frustrated with it all.

The truth is I never wanted to go back to her (and this friend/ex of mine knows this and she never wanted me back) but why did SHE think that was going to happen? I mean, it didn't.

So the quesiton that circle my mind last night at the bar (which is a story in and of itself for another time) was this - is this what it's going to be like? Is every person I am with from here to my dying day going to be hung up on my friend who is also my ex? Are they going to think that I am bound to leave them fo her?

Although I suppose that she never wanted to hear that. I feel she wanted reason to blame me. I just wish she understood.